Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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