Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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