I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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