why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
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So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
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Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
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