We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
