a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
