And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
