He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Randomize
