Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
