all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
we should paint friendship bongs
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
