Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
