"it" just moved
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
