There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize