happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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