i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
