I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize