So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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