so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
