I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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