the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize