Where are you?
In a non slutty way
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
