brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
