I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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