Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
