I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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