Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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