Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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