I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
try to milk me bitch
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