Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize