she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
