i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
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I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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