is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
