his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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