I'm jealous of your bromance
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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