She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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