Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
