Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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