just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
