Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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