D3 body, D1 cock
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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