I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
