There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
