Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
