Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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