I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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