Screwed.edu
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
they need to just BURY HIM!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
