your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
