Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
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I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize