Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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