he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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