Umm I'm too high to move.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
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