why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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