So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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