have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i've created a new STD.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
