I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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