I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
