O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
