fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize